It's obvious he wants nothing to do with you. He wants you to go away, he will not help. 6pm? Dinner time. If he asks if you have eaten, which he won't because he doesn't give a shit about you or your health, you will say yes, yes you have, even though you haven't. If he doesn't ask, which we both know WILL happen, you will not even bring it up. Why? Because you listen to me, the one who is here right, right now with you. The one who is here for you everyday, the one who is there every time you are crying, while you are sleeping, while you are alone, while you are in so much pain, retching over a dirty toilet seat, or curled up in a little ball unable to get out of bed and face the day, I am the one who is here helping you get by. I get you all of those compliments from guys, I get you all of those second looks and stares. I get you all of those random conversations. I am the one who gives you the feeling of being in control. Fuck him and choose me. If he hasn't done a thing to try and help you by now, he never will and he's not your friend, he's your enemy. I would never ever say I will spend the day with you and then make other plans that day and put you second. NO friend would, especially a friend who says they are trying to help you recover. You will always be first to me Mary, so quit fighting me. I will win. You have tried this recovery bullshit before. You don't have the time or will to fight me Mary. Just do your classes and let me handle the rest.
Love,
Ed.
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