Thinspo for the day. This is gorgeous!!!
One day I will be my own Thinspo!

It's the feeling, not the food. I know he's gone. He had my heart, my all, my dedication, and he crushed me completely. I treat the food like it's him. I avoid it all together, or I eat and then flush it all out, with the feelings. I want him to hold me and tell me there is nothing wrong with me, but there is no one. I feel like an empty shell floating through this world, completing the motions, somehow motionless. I feel like I'm worthy of no one. This keeps happening. But he was different and special. So much talent, so nice, so smart, and so easy to just talk to and be myself around. It didn't matter if we were doing nothing, I could have just laid there all night and held onto him and smelled him and been completely content. Now even the smell is gone.  I don't know what happened.  All I did was care.  Maybe I cared too much, too hard, too fast. Now all that is left is emotions, tears, and Ed. I can't stop hurting myself. I want him to stop me. To save me from myself. He says I deserve whatever I want and I need to change my thinking. What I want is him.  Why can't he see that? That would make everything better. Why can't he just open back up and let me in? Oh my god, I miss him so much. I've never met someone that made me want to be a better person so much before. And now that feeling is completely gone.  I felt like I was making so much progress, and now I've gone backwards. I don't know why I should even try to move forward again. I don't have the energy. I'm so tired. My heart is held together with scotch tape and Elmer's glue. What goal do I have? It's not like if I get better, he's going to come back. So why? Why get better? What is the fucking point? I've read several articles on death by starvation, and how it's euphoric and peaceful. I wonder if I'd ever have the strength to do that. But I agree to nothing anymore. No weight requirements. I will weigh what I want. And right now I hear that I should be 92 lbs. It may be lower or higher depending on what I hear, but for now, since my love has been taken away from me, Ed says I need to weigh 92. Ed says I'm a bad girl, I fucked up, a fat cow, who needs to be punished.  Ed says I'm too selfish and need to absolve by giving up the act of eating and showing some self-restraint for a good while.  Ed says I need to take the control back, because I have shamelessly given it away. And since no one else sane is offering me any considerable help, I listen to Ed. I believe in Ed. Ed has ALWAYS been here for me, never gone away, and will never go away. Ed has never let me down.